Pushing.

I am feeling awful. I’m thinking about how I hurt someone I cared about dearly. This person finds it best if I’m not in their life anymore and that’s hard for me to take. I felt like I was giving my all to try to have them in my life, but all I did was hurt and push them away. I think about what they tell me and the mistakes I made.  I can’t help but to feel bad about my character and my own being. I make mental notice, daily, about how to better myself as a person and a friend. I’ve done so for years. I strive to create a pathway for me to follow that leads to success and motivation, but when I think about this part of my life I can’t help but to regret how I acted, wishing I could’ve done something different sooner. It eats away at me everyday. I have to fight it and keep pushing myself forward.

“Pain isn’t permanent, but tonight it’s killing me.”

Not dwelling on the past is a hard thing to do, I’ve learned great lessons to be a better human but at a monumental cost. This happens everyday and I can’t help but feel the remorse. Sorry isn’t enough. I just have to live my life with my eyes in front of me.  There is always hope, I suppose. Hope that one day I can make amends and receive full forgiveness to where I will have another chance to prove myself. I know I am  strong. I know I can do that right thing. I know I am not the best, but I want show everyone that they can count on me that I can be a great person, that I can be trusted and be there for someone at all times.

I want to be remembered at a good person and be positive in peoples lives. I care what people thing of me. I have to keep pushing.

 

 

Alec

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